


Portia Lin is Dead

by AltMe



Category: Original Work
Genre: Animal Transformation, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Romance, F/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Reconciliation, Werewolves, mild body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28333257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltMe/pseuds/AltMe
Summary: Cameron Dante has an unexpected encounter with the spoiled rich girl who broke his heart in university when she thoughtlessly dumped him and a string of partners afterwards. Portia Lin appears to have abandoned her wealth for a humbler living. Has she really changed for the better?And what's up with the bizarrely large wolf Cameron keeps meeting in the park?
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	Portia Lin is Dead

_"Hey, are you new here?"_

_Cameron could only gawk stupidly at the girl, positively stunned by her radiant looks. He was just a frumpy kid getting his start in university, still not yet fully shed of his high school identity, and this girl dressed in an expensive-looking blouse and skirt out of nowhere decided to approach him of all students?_

_"Uh, y-yeah, I am," Cameron said, blushing nervously._

_The girl giggled; a bubbly, high-spirited note that was a perfect match for her beaming smile. "Aw, you look so cute stumbling over yourself like that."_

_"I-I look cute to you?" he babbled._

_"Sure do!" the girl said with an enthusiastic bob of the head that quickly became flirtation with the playful wink she flashed him. "Hey. What would a cute guy like you say to treating me to dinner tonight?"_

_"Dinner"? Wasn't going out to dinner with a girl like a date?_

_Did this girl want to go out on a date with him?_

_Cameron didn't even care how goofy his grin probably looked. "That cute guy would say 'hell yes'!"_

"Beware your wandering eye."

That was how the saying went. Cameron Dante failed to heed it. And in the process, he had opened up a wound, one that was supposed to have healed in his senior year of college.

The source of the old pain was standing right across from him, leaning against the sliding train door, staring pensively through the window.

He could've easily have avoided it entirely if he never bothered to follow through on his curiosity and passed her off as another stranger. Her attire was different, far more modest than he remembered. He could still remember how much his bulky jacket used to irk her, and yet here she was wearing a rather heavy-looking one at that moment, its sole color a dull and dark navy blue, the polar opposite vibrant and extravagant colors she used to wear. Now the brightest color on her person was nothing more than a dark red scarf. She used to wear a designer purse everywhere she went, but that had been replaced by a weathered leather-strapped backpack.

[The girl standing before him was the total opposite in so many ways, but there was no mistaking that mess of wavy, curled dark brown hair, that pale skin, or those deceptively soft yet angled chestnut-colored eyes. For better or worse, Cameron never forgot an important face.](https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/66042904)

He especially could never forget the face of Portia Lin, the girl who had warmed his heart for a month in freshman year before abruptly tearing it out.

It was best just to move on. He'd long accepted the fact that the fleeting torch he held for her afterwards was pointless. There was no point in trying to win back a girl who was never in love with you to begin with and saw you only as a useful distraction. Cameron wasn't a masochist. The moment those doors opened, she'd be out of his mind for good, and he'd return to living the most stable life he could.

The automated voice blared over the speaker. In a few moments, the doors would slide open, and their paths would diverge once more. He was okay with some unanswered questions in his life. She, after all, had cut him out of hers.

Cameron remained rooted in his seat as the train came to a stop, ready to briskly move past Portia and past a painful portion of his university days in the process.

However, he made another mistake on the way out. He couldn't keep his eyes on his destination. As he passed by, he saw surprise blossom on her face as she seemed to realize that someone from her past had been on the train as well. The small smile she gave him could've been interpreted in a number of ways.

Was she playing with his emotions for old-time sake? Part of him, unfortunately, entertained the idea that it was genuinely apologetic. It was too small, and her eyes weren't wide and doe-like like they usually were, he somehow ended up telling himself.

God damn it.

~~~

"You're hallucinating, mate," Cameron's longtime roommate, Nate, remarked.

"I swear to God I saw her!" Cameron said defensively as he paced back and forth in their living room.

"Really?" Nate said, reclining back on their shared couch. "Because the girl you described sounds nothing like her."

"But--" Cameron started.

"Like, a backpack?" Nate said incredulously. "Seriously? We both know the actual Portia wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of those."

They had been going back and forth over Cameron's particular encounter ever since he returned to their apartment. So far, against his better judgment, Cameron had been rather resistant to Nate's arguments that he had simply met an identical stranger.

"Look man," Nate sighed, "I don't even know why you're fixated on it being her. I mean, you didn't even get around to holding hands with her after a month, and then she dumped your ass for some other dweeb we didn't even know and then just kept stringing guys along after that. There really wasn't some romantic spark there worth preserving."

_"Hey, is this guy bothering you?" the lanky jock latched around Portia's arm asked._

_"I-I was trying to say hi," Cameron said nervously, backing away from his much taller peer. "I-I usually don't see you around, so--"_

_Portia giggled, patting her new date's shoulder reassuringly, not even sparing a glance in Cameron's direction. "He's nobody. Don't worry about it. Come on, let's go."_

_Cameron would've accepted if Portia spoke about him in contempt. At least then, he'd know he had a part to play in the breakup. But there wasn't a hint of that in her tone. He simply no longer existed._

"Thank you for the reminder," Cameron muttered.

"Just trying to keep you grounded," Nate said with a shrug. He suddenly gained a rather mischievous spark in his eye. "Hey, but let's say this girl you met on the train just happened to be an identical stranger. I'd say it'd be a win-win for you."

Cameron's brow rose. "Excuse me?"

"I know we shouldn't judge a book by its cover," Nate said, raising his hands in mock defense, "but a girl at least half as pretty as Portia but more traveled and modest does seem like the ideal girl. She ain't wealthy, so you don't have to worry about dating out of your league, and she dresses more practically, so she's probably not high-maintenance either. I'd say she might've been the safest bet you got."

"Hold on, you're really confusing me here," Cameron said. "Are you telling me not to waste my time thinking about her, or are you telling me to ask her out the next time I see her?"

"If you see her," Nate corrected. "But if you do, I'd say you've finally gotten a break." 

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Cameron said dryly.

"Aaanyways," Nate drawled as he lazily leaned forward, "you got word back about that receptionist job thing?"

Cameron's head slumped. Going from a confounding situation to a pressing one was hardly the ideal trade. "No. Nothing yet. I swear I thought I did good in the interview though!"

Nate clicked his tongue and muttered out a stream of obscenities.

Unfortunately, Cameron's college degree didn't offer much in terms of immediate internships or job prospects. He'd managed to eke out a proper living space thanks to taking up Nate's offer to continue being roommates even after they graduated. They were living in a dense city. They had figured they'd manage to land at least some stable career as graduates if they just kept sending out applications.

Nate managed to get a job as a telemarketer. Cameron had been stuck drifting from one temp job to another while simultaneously maintaining a consistent career as a cashier at a convenience store. Admittedly, things hadn't been going too bad for a while...until their landlord decided to raise the rent.

"At this rate," Nate grumbled, "we're going to need a third guy to split the rent."

"Did you start making calls for offers?" Cameron asked as he slipped his coat back on.

"Yeah," Nate snarked. "It's like taking the office home with me. And I got just as many people hanging up. Probably should've networked better..."

Cameron sighed. His shift at the convenience store started in one hour. For the third time that month, he'd be arriving to work out of breath.

~~~

Cameron spent the walk back trying to get the chime of the convenience door bell out of his head. Unfortunately, the city wasn't exactly alive enough at that time of night to drown it out. He was hoping the park he cut through periodically would at least have some rustling trees to help him out, but the air was almost deathly still.

Just when he was about to bash an ear in to get the sound to stop, the silence was broken by the rustling of some bushes. Survival instinct dictated that he should continue moving but at a more cautious pace. He ended up just stopping right in his tracks.

His head slowly turned towards the source. Then every part of his body froze.

Poking its head out from behind the dense shrubbery was probably the biggest wolf Cameron had ever seen in his life. Well, he hadn't ever seen a wolf up-close, period, but he was pretty sure they were supposed to be smaller.

As the wolf exited the brush, he backed away in tandem, hands up in the air, though surrendering wouldn't help if the creature was hungry. It didn't help that Cameron couldn't read the wolf's mood at the moment. Usually there'd be some kind of growl or tensed, hunched-over stance to indicate hostility, but the wolf was approaching him almost...curiously?

There was quite a bit about the wolf that looked odd besides its abnormal size now that he got a closer look. Rather than coarse and dense, its brown-tinted fur, particularly around its neck and cheeks, looked weirdly wavy and glossy, not to mention long enough to tangle itself into disheveled curls. Was fluffy ever the right word to describe a wolf?

The way it shook the leaves off its fur and scratched at the stray dangling twigs with its hind leg also almost made it look like it was grooming itself. Since when was a wolf concerned with looking presentable? 

He didn't see a collar around the wolf's neck, so it probably wasn't domesticated, but it definitely wasn't acting like a feral animal.

Yes, the wolf was weird indeed.

It took several drawn-out minutes for Cameron to finally relax. "Uh... So nice meeting you then I guess? I've got to get home."

Here he was talking to a wild animal in the middle of a park. That late shift really must've taken a lot out of him.

The wolf suddenly let out a whine, its head lowering as it looked up at him with almost puppy-like eyes. Was it actually asking him to stay a bit longer?

Against all sense, he chose to talk to it again. "Sorry, but I can't stay around. I've got a really, really long day tomorrow."

He didn't even know why he stood around waiting for the wolf's reaction, but it seemed as though his brain was legitimately expecting a comprehensible response.

The wolf didn't pant nor did it back away into the bushes. It nodded.

Cameron rubbed his eyes. That was definitely a sign he needed to rest.

~~~

Cameron cursed his landlord for having the gall to raise the rent when the apartment didn't even have a single dedicated washing machine for the tenants to use. Every other week, that meant lugging an entire bag of sweaty clothes down several blocks to the nearby Laundromat.

There was a closed-down shop right next door, one that had its curtains permanently drawn. A gardener had apparently taken to using the space outside the door to take care of some spare plants, or at least that's what he could conclude. Who else would leave a bunch of potted plants and a watering can outside?

It used to just be a curious facet of his neighborhood that he took a glance at.

[This time, there was someone familiar waiting there. She was dressed in red this time, but the hues on her still remained dark and faded. The addition of a newsboy-style cap only made her appear more like the so-called commoners she had so frequently manipulated in the past, albeit from a different era.](https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/72293553)

Portia's eyes drifted back to his direction before he could focus on his destination. To his chagrin, Cameron chose to read her expression once again rather than simply move past her. He didn't even feel the weight he was carrying over his shoulder anymore.

It would've been so much easier if the girl who resembled Portia questioned why he was staring at her. Instead, she simply looked back at him, looking equally as uneasy by their second encounter, but it didn't feel like she wanted him to look away. It felt like she was hoping he'd say the first word.

After everything she had done in university not to just him but to multiple other people, it honestly would've been cathartic enough just to deny her any form of connection.

"Am I crazy, or do I know you from somewhere?"

Cameron didn't have the constitution to do such a thing to anyone, no matter what they had done to him.

Portia blinked for a moment. Her lips parted for a moment before abruptly shutting again. From the way her eyes darted to the side, it felt like she was seriously considering what she was going to say in response.

It was strange. She used to be so skilled at saying the just the right things to keep the boys and men she was dating in line. Unless this was simply part of some greater deception, whatever she was about to say was like tearing off a particularly long bandage.

Finally, she spoke. "Hey Cam..."

Her voice was soft, not sickly sweet but rather frail and hesitant. There was no mistaking the pitch though.

The last time she had called him by that nickname was when she casually dumped him on the way to class. She had laughed at his obviously shocked reaction.

_"Oh, come on Cam! Are you seriously going to look at me like that? God, you look so pathetic!"_

Cameron frowned. "You don't get to call me that anymore."

Portia bit her lip, shuffling in place awkwardly. "Yes, obviously after... S-Sorry."

He wouldn't exactly put it past her to put on the shy act. That being said, he couldn't be sure she was even capable of feigning guilt. After all, she never seemed to feel it. A common story he had heard before he cut her out of his life completely was that she always found some way to blame every one of her break-ups on her partners.

Was he really dreaming about Portia giving a proper apology? Now that definitely sounded pathetic.

"Is that your laundry?" Portia asked suddenly, glancing over his shoulder.

He had completely forgotten what he was carrying. He actually was pathetic.

"It is..." Cameron said, trying to sound dignified. "What are you doing around here? Waiting for your laundry too?"

He wanted to add "like a commoner" to the end of what he was asking. Curse his weak heart for turning it into a clunky question.

Portia took a deep breath. "I am. The one near my place closed down suddenly."

Somehow, that left Cameron completely stunned. "Wait, what? Don't you, like, have a washing machine at home or something?"

"I don't have one," Portia said bluntly.

There were no crocodile tears or manufactured self-loathing. It was stated completely factually.

It only made the simple statement sound even more illogical. One of the facets he knew about her that he could confirm as fact was that she was the daughter of two shareholders for some profitable company. Even if she got her dates to pay for most of her expenses, she still drove around in a high-end car, wore a new outfit practically every other day, and lived by herself off-campus rather than in any of the dorms. It was obvious she had money to spend.

"I look pretty ridiculous, don't I?" she said, spreading her arms out slightly to present Cameron with her entire modest wardrobe. She had a smile on as she looked down at her sneakers, but her tone was purely resigned. "Two years ago, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing these."

"You trying out some kind of new wardrobe?" Cameron asked, keeping the conversation going against all logic.

"They're affordable and durable," Portia sighed with a shrug.

"So you're really not taking your parents' money anymore," Cameron remarked. He was at least willing to allow one snipe in as subdued as it was.

"Afraid not," she said, letting out a bitter chuckle.

Cameron's eyes narrowed. "You know I was never interested in that, right?"

"We only dated for a month," she responded sadly. "That was hardly enough time for me to figure that out."

"Not gonna debate with you there," Cameron said. He took another discerning look at her, still thrown off by how much it contrasted from the girl locked away in his memories. "I guess I didn't figure you out either considering you were willing to change, well, all of that."

He gestured to Portia's entire ensemble.

She surprisingly giggled a bit. He hated that he could feel his heart skip a beat.

"No, I was pretty much the bitch who dumped you," she said with a shake of the head.

Again, she was so blunt with her statements of herself. She didn't even flinch.

"Are you saying you're not anymore?" That might've been the cruelest question. Legitimate pain shot through his chest from how quickly and ruthlessly it had come out.

"You never know what might happen to someone in a year."

She said those words so easily. It felt as though she had been saying that to herself for a while now.

Portia glanced back at the bag of clothes slung over Cameron's shoulder. "I should probably let you wash them. My laundry should be almost done anyways."

Cameron was glad Portia had been the one to end the conversation because he definitely didn't feel like he would've been able to.

~~~

The weird wolf came back. It was pretty much the same set-up as the first time, with Cameron cutting through the park to make it back home quicker and suddenly being stopped in his tracks by a rustling in the bushes. Of course, there wasn't that brief moment of fear and uncertainty anymore. He just sort of stood there stunned that he hadn't just imagined the last encounter in some sleep-deprived haze.

The wolf also seemed to recognize him. Cameron didn't exactly read up on wolf behavior, but panting and tail wagging seemed to be a universal sign that a dog was happy to see you. Dogs could technically smile also, right?

"Were you waiting for me?" Cameron asked. He couldn't believe he was again talking to an animal, expecting it to understand what he was saying.

To his shock, the wolf sat down on its haunches and nodded.

"Okay, this is too weird," Cameron muttered. "Two barks to say you understand me, one bark to say you can't."

The wolf barked twice in quick succession.

Cameron squinted down at the wolf's neck. There still wasn't a collar, and yet the wolf was acting more domesticated than any pet dog he'd come across.

"So, uh...do you come here often?" he asked, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

He took the wolf's head tilting and eyes pulling over to the side to be some kind of approximation of a shrug.

"You don't live here then?"

The wolf paused for a moment as though deep in thought before shaking its head.

Somehow the night just kept getting stranger. "What? Do you just break out of a natural wildlife preserve every other night or something?"

Was it possible for a wolf to scoff? The sound it made coupled with the honest-to-God eye-roll made it seem like it just did.

"Okay, yeah, that sounds pretty stupid," he sighed. "No need to rub it in. It'd probably be too complicated for you to explain considering, well, you can't talk."

The wolf barked twice. It took him a second to process that they were still going on the arrangement of two barks meaning yes.

Cameron shrugged. He couldn't believe he was even considering what he was about to say. "Well, if you're willing to stick around to hear a human ramble, something crazy happened to today that I really don't want to share with my roommate."

~~~

For the rest of the week, Cameron had assumed his meetings with the wolf would be the extent of the weirdness introduced to his status quo.

Then he saw Portia on the train again, once again standing, head leaning against the window. Her pose was an almost perfect recreation of their first unintended reunion. The outfit she wore was even virtually identical, a stark contrast to the near-unlimited wardrobe she used to wear in public. On his end, however, it wasn't a pure play-by-play.

This time, they saw each other way before the doors parted. That was to say, Cameron got into another internal debate whether or not to actually approach her, and Portia happened to curiously turn her eyes in his direction. Their eyes ended up locking. 

The resulting silence was incredibly awkward, the previously appropriate stillness of the train car's air suddenly becoming much more deafening. Cameron had told himself that their meeting of the eyes was completely deliberate on Portia's part, that she planned the encounter out completely, a kind of repeat to ensure he wouldn't slip from her grasp again.

Unfortunately, if it was a trap, Cameron couldn't stop himself from falling for it. Oh, he did try, but that resistance only made it look like he was strapped to stilts. He didn't know if he should be thankful that she looked just as uncomfortable by his display as he did, not even sparing a stifled chuckle.

They only looked at each other as the train slowed down to its destination, Cameron trying to discern any kind of deception on her face and Portia possibly doing the same. It felt dirty to admit to himself that her not smiling once brought him a degree of relief, maintaining that resignation she had on her face when they had met by the Laundromat.

As soon as they were among a noisier crowd, Cameron, against his better judgment, decided to speak up as they walked to the stairs off the platform. "Do you...have to be somewhere now?" 

Portia let out a light gasp in response, her eyes lighting up for a brief moment like he had just proposed to her. It just as suddenly reverted back to an expression that was far more neutral, one that easily could blend into a crowd.

"Not at the moment," she said finally.

Cameron felt he had gotten decent at reading her various masks during university, an unfortunate side effect of still hopelessly pining over her enough to be at full attention whenever she literally walked back into his life. One thing he knew, the old Portia would've hated being a nobody.

_"Hey," Cameron heard a student whisper, "what's she doing with a guy from a different campus?"_

_"No freaking way!" his friend whispered back. "Do you think he's going to be the one?"_

_"She broke up with practically every boy here, right?" another whispered._

_"And some of the girls too," another added._

_The whispers weren't exactly quiet, especially not when they were beginning to spread throughout the hallways._

_Portia preened the entire time as she walked through, her new boyfriend towed behind her._

~~~

Usually, a talk between a boy and a girl, or even just old acquaintances, would be over a drink or some snack food snatched from a stand. Cameron had opted to discuss his life with Portia on a bench.

Even if he wasn't scrapped for cash, he knew better than to present her with a wallet at this stage. As optimistic as he wanted to be, he realistically had expected her to passive-aggressively point out how decidedly cheap the location was for a reunion.

Portia didn't even bat an eyelash at the coffee shop they walked past when Cameron suggested the idea.

"That sounds good," she simply said.

Cameron eyed the backpack Portia had on her person as she set it down between them, not for its contents but rather the object itself. It was clearly built to be sturdy despite the various superficial cracks in the outer fabric brought on by years of bending and stretching. Wouldn't that mean this wasn't a recent purchase.

"I haven't used this since the first year of high school."

He blinked, eyes quickly refocusing on Portia's face. He really could've done a better job of hiding where his focus was on. "I-I was thinking about if I should ask you about it, but I didn't know if that would be insensitive."

"It's something about me you didn't know about," she said with a shrug. "It's not really that important."

"But why that instead of a handbag?" Cameron could help but ask. "I thought I remember you saying you wouldn't be caught with one of those things on your back."

"Well, I wasn't used to carrying much back then," Portia explained. "I can't really afford to wear out one of my shoulders right now."

Cameron only nodded in response, wondering if Portia's tune would change if he asked about her financial situation. It soured the mood significantly that he could easily imagine her trying to deliberately downplay her problems, specifically putting emphasis on how it wasn't like anyone would bother to help her, in order to guilt him into giving her financial support. How would she react to find out that he was also struggling to make ends meet?

"So what do you do now?" Portia asked suddenly.

Once again, Cameron had opted to predict the future rather than just deal with everything in the moment, while he had company right next to him.

Regardless of who it was, it was really embarrassing to be caught off-guard like that.

"What do I do?" he could only parrot.

"Like..." Portia seemed to ponder. The question came out awkwardly, like she was aware of the implications it contained. "Where do you work now?"

Well, now it was time for Cameron to get the answer to one of his questions. "I...work at a convenience store and sometimes get calls to do temp work. I've been going to a lot of interviews for a full-time job, but most offices don't really bother calling back afterwards."

To his surprise, Portia let out a chuckle, not a condescending one but rather one that was more difficult to explain. It was like she was remembering an old joke she heard. "I'm sorry. It's just that you work at a convenience store, and I work at a liquor one. It's just a really weird coincidence."

She just unveiled it so casually. This unglamorous job was a firm part of her life now.

"Really?" Cameron remarked. "I guess your degree isn't doing much for you either."

"Well, I don't exactly have that many qualifications." Portia shuffled awkwardly in her seat. "I didn't really think I needed a degree other than to show off that I was educated, so I kind of..."

"Got everyone else to do the work for you?" Cameron finished grimly.

His remark didn't even warrant a wince from her. She almost looked like she had gotten used to having similar things tossed at her.

"Yeah..." she sighed. "I thought was just going to be continuing the family business, so why bother working towards anything?"

"I guess that ended up not happening?" Cameron theorized.

He had heard of the lights leaving a person's eyes, but this was really the first time he actually witnessed it happen. Portia's eyes were large enough that he could see them practically dull to the same color as her hair.

No tears formed in them, but the shaky breath she took made it sound like she was very close to shedding them. "My parents want to pretend that they never had a daughter."

Just those words had the strength to force Cameron to recoil.

"What?!" he exclaimed incredulously.

Portia's eyes fell to the pavement. "I pushed my luck too far just after graduating and led someone on that I shouldn't have."

She gripped the lower part of her left shoulder tightly, taking another deep breath before continuing. "Things...happened, and they didn't want to deal with it. So they left me with only my savings and some clothes I could fit in some luggage and told me I wasn't theirs anymore."

Cameron felt a knot twist in his gut. When Portia had been stuck in his mind in university, the only assurances those around him could give was that her approach to relationships would eventually lead to her breaking the heart of the wrong person. It would be karma for all the partners she had used and left behind.

She described that exact scenario. So why did he feel the opposite of catharsis?

All he could think about was what kind of parents would be willing to just abandon their child completely like that. As much as he was reluctant to return home penniless, he at least had a place to return to if living independently ultimately failed.

"I-I'm sorry," he said.

Portia bit her lip before letting out a laugh. It sounded so much more strained and forced. "Y-You know, it reminds me of why I dated you back then."

Cameron's hand reflexively gripped the bench. There had always been something material for Portia to gain from every one of her prior relationships, but now that he was forced to look back, he realized she never asked anything from him for that entire month.

She laughed hollowly. "My parents out of nowhere arranged to marry me off to some jackass, and I had to convince them that I was already taken. A month later, and guess what, the arrangement was no longer profitable."

Despite the old wound she had opened up, Cameron's anger didn't even simmer. He knew better than to use her statement to justify all the heartbreak she put so many through, but he couldn't deny that he was feeling incredibly tempted to.

Portia's face fell into her hands. Her voice was muffled, clearly meant more for her, but Cameron's ears were more than good enough to hear. "God, what am I doing? That's exactly why you kept getting the door shut in your face, Portia..."

"Shut in your face?" Cameron echoed.

Portia looked back at Cameron. Her expression faltered as her eyes locked onto Cameron's. He could blame her. That's exactly how he reacted when his eyes locked onto hers.

"It's nothing," she said, shaking her head as she rose off the bench with her backpack in tow. "I think we both have to be at different places soon. I should stop wasting your time."

"It wasn't a waste," Cameron said. He paused. The words had just come out automatically.

Portia looked back at him in silence. He noticed the breeze causing her curled tresses to flutter, further accentuating an expression that could only be described as wonderment.

Her lips turned up into a small smile. Were they that rosy during their entire conversation? He hadn't noticed until now.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he could only ask as he stood back up.

"For wanting to talk to me."

Cameron realized he didn't want this to be the last time they talked to each other.

Damn it all.

~~~

Cameron didn't even flinch when he heard the bushes rustle. It was pretty much a routine by that point. However, he did notice that the wolf was panting and wagging its tail this time. He could only guess that meant they had graduated from being strangers.

"Hey there," he greeted the wolf casually. "Man, you are not going to believe the day I've had."

The wolf tilted its head to the side. He didn't know why, but that gesture coupled with some slight quirk at the corner of its lip almost made it look like the wolf was all but saying, "Try me."

"Okay then," he sighed, "but I think you're going to be really confused by the end of this."

The entire time he talked about Portia with the wolf, he couldn't help but feel that the wolf somehow understood completely what he was talking about. It lay down, staring up at him intently throughout his whole rambling recollection.

"I mean," Cameron rambled on, "I don't think a wolf would be able to relate, what with the pack thing you usually have going on, but what kind of parents would be willing to throw out their own daughter like that. I mean, even if she happened to piss off some guy who was part of an important family, you'd think they'd try to--"

He was suddenly cut off by a small whine. The wolf was no longer looking up at him; its gaze instead focused towards the floor, head nestled between its paws. Cameron didn't even need to make a leap in logic to read that body language.

"I guess you might be able to relate," he sighed. "Are you, really all alone? No other wolves to go back to?"

The wolf slowly raised its muzzle back up, its expression practically a mirror of the dogs in those sad animal shelter ads. And it had the same effect, especially the small nod the wolf gave.

"Well...I'll be around," Cameron could only say. "I wish I could take you with me, but our landlord really isn't big on pets that shed. But...meeting you every night is the next best thing, right?"

It was the best he could think of on the fly, definitely not what a wolf lost in an urban jungle likely wanted to hear. The air suddenly felt much colder as the wolf only gave another nod in response before retreating slowly back into the bushes.

When he got home, he looked up the subject on wolves in his area on his phone. There wasn't an animal shelter or zoo anywhere close to the park. Maybe the wolf really was a hallucination caused by the late shift. The news would probably report something like a wild wolf running through the area, right?

~~~

The train obviously wouldn't make for a very convenient meeting spot. The two times Cameron and Portia met were just bizarre acts of fate. He knew they couldn't count on meeting each other in the same train car every time.

Inexplicably, he could count on them still meeting at the same Laundromat again. The next time they met, he made sure to put his laundry in the wash first.

The obvious question came to mind, however. "So how long have you been in this city for? I've been here ever since I graduated, but I haven't exactly seen you around until recently."

"I've moved around a bit since then," Portia said. "It wasn't like I figured out how to live on my own in my first week. Kind of used up more of my savings than I should have in my first week because I didn't know how expensive it was to rent an apartment over there."

"I get it," Cameron sighed. "Can't even say I've been living by myself. I was just lucky that my roommate decided to stick with me after we graduated. Even here, it's probably better to split the rent than to live by yourself."

Portia's face turned uneasy. She was considering her words once again. "So... How has temp work been going for you?"

Cameron stumbled a bit to come up with an answer. He stumbled even more when he questioned why he was even worried about what Portia would think of his limited job prospects.

"I've been lucky to have a few big ones in the past to sustain my side of the rent for at least a while longer," Cameron responded. "Stuff like checking the inventories in furniture warehouses or trying to sell people on cologne."

He expected Portia to at least snort at the last bit. Instead, she just looked at him intently, waiting for him to continue.

"But recently, it's just been menial labor if I even get hired on," Cameron said after the momentary pause. "It's kind of like having a second convenience store job sometimes except you're traded out after the third day. And then I just have the stretches of weeks when there's no work left."

The way Portia nodded in response illicit the most bizarre sensation of déjà vu. It was the feeling that he had unknowingly at some point discussed this very topic with her before.

However, when he discussed the topic out loud, he couldn't help but notice a particular detail of Portia's story the previous day that was suddenly not adding up.

"Anyways," Cameron said, "you work anywhere else besides that liquor store? As you can probably tell by my situation, that kind of salary really isn't enough to pay the rent."

Portia clasped her hands nervously. For a moment, Cameron believed he had discovered a contradiction, a hole exposing her ulterior motives. 

Before he could say anything, Portia suddenly looked him straight in the eyes. "I think it would work better if I just showed up where I lived."

Cameron blinked. "E-Excuse you?"

"Do you have any free time this morning?" Portia asked. Her eyes pretty much gave away that she wanted the answer to be yes.

Cameron ended up acquiescing with a nod.

Portia hastily took out a torn scrap of paper and pen out from her backpack, scribbling down an address before holding it out to him. Cameron was completely silent when he took it, still processing what she had suggested.

"After you get your laundry sorted out," she said, "come by. I'll be there until ten."

~~~

"Pfft! A motel room?! Seriously?!" Nate was in hysterics.

"Dude," Cameron muttered, "that's messed up."

There was really no hiding his meetings with Portia from Nate anymore, especially not when it led to noticeable irregularities in Cameron's routine. And there was the fact that every other week was Nate's turn with laundry duty, so he inevitably would've seen her around once he became aware of her existence.

Cameron had ended up telling Nate everything. As strange as it sounded on paper, discussing the topic to a human who liked to riff was actually much harder than talking to a wolf.

"Yeah, I know," Nate sighed as he settled back down. "Still, I don't think I've seen someone's life invert that hard! You gotta admit that it's kind of hilarious in a darkly ironic sorta way."

That was a response that could be read in a number of ways, some crueler and more unsympathetic than others. Unlike with Portia, Cameron perfectly understood why he should be worried about how he came across to Nate.

"From a certain perspective," Cameron said reluctantly. He just as reluctantly brought up his next question. "So, after everything I told you, do you think she's changed?"

Nate leaned back into the couch. "Mate, after something like that, you'd have to be stubborn and stupid as hell to want to stay the same. Buuuut..."

"But what?" Cameron quirked a brow.

There was a look on Nate's face that Cameron rarely got to see: actual concern. "Everything about how she actually acts is all just coming from your perspective. No offense, but you're kinda a softy. I got no idea if you just downplayed a lot of things and made a bunch of leaps in logic to make her sound like a better person. This isn't the first time you've done this, you know."

"You say it like I didn't think about it myself," Cameron responded dryly. "Since I'm such a terrible judge of character, how about you talk to her next time you're on laundry duty?"

"Because unlike you," Nate said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, "I can't afford to waste any of my mornings. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to continue my hunt for a third roommate."

~~~

Nearly an hour had passed since Cameron had arrived in the park. There was no wind that night, so he obviously would've been able to hear if the bushes were rustling. He heard nothing.

The streak had been broken. The wolf failed to show up.

He looked up at the sky, noting the full moon hanging above. It was really ironic. Weren't wolves usually all about the full moon? Or was that just something the movies made up?

Strangely enough, that brought him back to his memories of visiting Portia's "home" two weeks ago. As cramped as the room was, she admittedly had done admirable work keeping her living space as tidy as she possibly could. She had informed him that she routinely performed the second round of cleaning as soon as the motel's cleaning staff left, possibly as a means of preserving her pride.

However, despite the lack of stains on the floor or walls or even grime in-between the tiles of the bathroom, there had been a bizarre faint odor that permeated through the place. For the sake of not making Portia feel worse about her living situation, he hadn't said it out loud, but the room had smelt vaguely like a dog had run through.

The room door from the inside had also caused some concern. Portia had dismissed it, with some noticeable reluctance, as just being a symptom of the motel's cheapness, but those claw marks didn't look particularly ancient.

Against his better judgment, they had ended up trading phone numbers.

~~~

Against his better judgment, Cameron decided to make the first call. There had been a break in what was building up to be a routine. Portia hadn't been at the Laundromat on laundry day.

And, for reasons only the deepest depths of his brain could fathom, he took the wolf's absence later that night to be a sign.

The deep relief he felt when Portia picked up told Cameron everything he needed to know about himself. All the defenses he had constructed during his senior year of university had all but crumbled in a little over a month.

It honestly didn't matter. All that did was the exhaustion he had heard even through his phone's damaged speaker.

When he finally met her across the street from the local cafe, he saw that her appearance very much matched the voice over the phone.

Her dark jacket was closed up with her hands shoved firmly into her pockets. Even in the early evening sun, her hair seemed to keep all the light away from her face. It might have been the most closed-off he had ever seen her. And yet, despite this, there was a weakness to the pose, as though she had tired from maintaining it for hours. He saw her lips quivering upwards when she saw him, like they were attempting a smile but lacked the strength to form one.

[Most disconcerting of all was the half-lid expression she gave Cameron when he approached, reducing the light in her previously soft eyes to harsher gradients.](https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/55229728)

"Hey Cameron, did you manage to get that interview?" Portia greeted. There was an almost wispy quality to her voice. Just like her body, it was wavering slightly.

"Uh, no I didn't," Cameron said absentmindedly.

"They didn't call you back?" Portia asked weakly.

"Y-Yeah, they didn't," Cameron said. He really wasn't sure where the conversation was heading, but he knew he was beginning to dread it.

Portia eyes lost focus, staring almost straight through him like he was a ghost. "Maybe that's easier to deal with than a rejection..."

"Did something happen yesterday?" Cameron asked, looking at her pale face with concern. "You look kind of...out of it."

"I'm just a little tired..." Portia said, taking a deep breath. "Last evening kind of felt like it went on forever for me."

It was strange, but the hesitation Cameron felt as he weighed what he was going to suggest next felt incredibly familiar. Those times when Portia paused during their conversations, was her thought process similar?

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cameron asked finally.

"Huh?" Her eyes suddenly lit up but only briefly. Was what he said actually that surprising, or did she really tune out of the world that hard? After a second of what he assumed was processing, she shook her head. "N-No. I'd rather not. I don't want this to be about me."

The exact wording of the last sentence caught him off-guard. "Hold on, is that the reason you didn't want to talk about whatever it is you went through? You thought you'd come off as self-centered?"

Portia blinked back. "You don't think I am?"

"I-I mean not right now," Cameron stumbled. "I can't really mince words and say you weren't back then..."

He felt his heart clench as he saw Portia physically wilt slightly.

He just had to soldier on through. He wasn't done yet. "But just by talking to you these past few weeks, it feels like you've really been trying to push past it. I mean, the old you would've just ghosted me if she found out I was nearly broke."

It was intended to be a joke. Portia's mood didn't seem to brighten at all though. Admittedly, Cameron had never been all that good at intentionally creating levity.

She did smile, but it was completely hollow. "How do you know I haven't just been stringing you along again this entire time?"

"What would you have to gain from my broke ass?" Cameron burst out indignantly.

"Someone I could use as a lackey who owed me for being nice to them," Portia murmured, staring down at the floor. "Maybe I'd get you feeling guilty enough to actually work extra to get me nice things. There are a lot of reasons why..."

Cameron couldn't believe he was actually getting angry at this negativity spiral she was going through. "Well, you're doing a pretty shit job of it if you're telling me all the reasons right to my face."

"But aren't you going to second guess everything I do from now on?" Portia asked. Though her eyes remained empty, he at least could tell they were focused on him now.

"Was this what was on your mind every time we talked?" Cameron asked, frustration coming to a head. "Well, let me clear the air out now. I knew what I could be getting myself into the moment I made eye-contact with you on the train! Every time we talked, I was expecting there to be an angle, something that reminded me of the Portia from back in university! And you know what? You are absolutely nothing like her!"

He heard her gasp, but he wasn't done yet.

"You actually wanted me to talk about my life without judging my choices once! You never asked for anything! You struggled to consider talking about your problems, even! In fact, the only time you've ever thrown a pity party for yourself is right now! And it's about whether or not you're a good person? Guess what, Portia Lin? That bitch from back then is dead! You're not her!"

Cameron swallowed. Wow, was this what shouting felt like? His throat felt like it was on fire. Oxygen returned to his brain as he took in several breaths. And with oxygen, came awareness. He had just shouted at a girl in a public space. Even now, he could feel several surrounding eyes judging him.

Damn it, he was probably a huge embarrassment right now.

Portia Lin suddenly sniffed loudly. She was biting down hard on her lip.

And now he had made Portia cry. He really did screw it up.

Before he could think about how to even salvage the situation, she moved towards him like a malfunctioning automaton. Her hands grabbed the lapels of his jacket, their grip stiff and weak. Her body seemed to just tip over as she collapsed face-first into his shoulder. Her body shook, and even the insulation of his clothing wasn't enough to muffle the loud sobbing she was pouring into it.

Those weren't crocodile tears. Cameron didn't know how he knew that, but he did.

"Let's find somewhere to sit," Cameron could only say.

~~~

"I guess you really want to know now what happened to me yesterday." Portia's voice wavered slightly as she clutched the tear-stained napkin in her hand.

"Only if you want to talk about it," Cameron said quietly.

They were in a very familiar park, well one that was familiar to him anyways. Now that he thought back, he never did bother sticking around to take in the sights. It had always just been a shortcut back home after the nightshift, at least before he met the wolf. He wondered if that was too out-there to bring up to Portia. He still hadn't brought it up with Nate.

Portia nodded. "I can. I think I've mostly processed things now."

She shuddered as she took in a deep breath, likely steeling her nerves. "It was a while ago, but do you remember that thing you overheard about doors getting shut in my face?"

Cameron was honestly shocked that he did, especially since she had muttered it under her breath.

"The first thing I did after my savings started to drain was try to leech off some people I knew who were living close by," she continued, self-loathing obvious in her tone. She clenched her napkin harder. "I guess I was actually stupid enough to think that they'd forgive me the moment they knew I was forced to live on my own. Obviously, I didn't think at all how much I hurt any of them. Two times, I tried begging, and both times, I had the door shut in my face the moment they saw me."

"Was that the wake-up call for you?" Cameron asked.

"I wish," Portia sighed with a shake of the head. "It didn't really hit me until I was really scraping a living together for myself just months later. It's like, suddenly, when you're too afraid to manipulate people into making things easier for yourself, and you're forced to think about the hard work you suckered other people into doing, it hits you just how much of a selfish bitch you've been. After that, all I could think about was all those people I had led on then laughed off..."

Cameron thought back to their first technical meeting on the train. "So did you actually seek everyone out?"

Portia looked back at him, blinking for a moment before her eyes widened at the realization. "Oh God, no. No, we just met by chance."

Her eyes turned downcast again. "But I did try that at first. It didn't go that well. No one wanted to connect back with me after what I had done to them. I mean, when you think about it, claiming you've changed for the better is kind of a part of textbook cyclical abusive relationships, so I can't blame them. After that, I just gave up on the whole thing. I figured I didn't deserve to search for forgiveness."

Her eyes only seemed to bore ever deeper into the park's stone trail. "I got a reminder yesterday. I happened by chance to cross paths with another guy I screwed over during junior year while on my way back from work, except it didn't end like the first one we had on the train. You know Tanis? He played for the badminton team? He took one look at me, and for the first time in so long, I had everything that I had done wrong shouted at me. It was like I was actually there, watching a playback of every partner I treated like trash. He didn't just toss at me how I used him, but how I used everyone...including you."

Her hand gripped the same spot as when she vaguely recalled the incident that led to her parents disowning her. "That entire evening, all I could think about was all these people I could've had in my life as maybe actual friends and maybe one as a special someone. And because of what I did, I had to spend my first step out of college completely alone. It was pretty much the worst time for me to be thinking about that too."

She suddenly turned to Cameron, her eyes scrutinizing and skeptical. "I broke your heart and tossed you away, Cameron. Why didn't you just ignore me on the train?"

Cameron only could stare back into her eyes as the gears in his brain turned. He could only shrug at the inevitable answer. "You know what? I've asked myself that question several times, but I still haven't figured out an answer yet. But when I saw you on the train, no matter how much I reminded myself of what happened freshman year, I just couldn't."

His words were rambling, but Portia looked at him like he had made a speech. He felt his face heat up as color began to return to hers, particularly once again seeing that small but sincere smile.

"It's nice talking with you," Portia sighed. "Looking back, I don't think I've ever actually had a real conversation with anyone. Everyone else had just been walls for me to fling my issues at."

And instead, she had been bottling those issues up for what had probably been a year at least, maybe even longer. At least, that's what Cameron had gathered now that she had aired them all out to him after downplaying or hiding them for so long.

"Hey, there isn't anything wrong with discussing some problems," he said. "It's all about whether or not you let other people help you through them."

"I haven't exactly let anyone in, have I?" Portia's eyebrows furrowed slightly as she looked away. What she was contemplating, Cameron could only guess. As her expression lightened, he saw her attention shift to the other side of the park. "I think it's starting to get a little late. Don't you have a nightshift to prepare for?"

An icy breeze, as though it was prompted, suddenly swept through. Cameron hastily zipped up his jacket, only now becoming aware at how little orange was left in the sky.

"There's so much more I want to talk about," Portia said as she sat up, "but, for some things, I still don't know how to bring them up."

"Just bring them up when you're ready," Cameron said. "I'm not going anywhere."

As he saw Portia off, he couldn't help but wonder about one incidental thing. He swore she knew exactly where she had turned her head to when inquiring about his nightshift, but how would she know where the convenience store he worked at was?

~~~

He didn't see the wolf that night either.

Part of him wanted to believe that if the wolf had been caught, it would've been on the local news. However, the thought of the wolf being propped up like a display at a freak show just because of its odd fur and unusual size really wasn't the best comfort.

Unfortunately, the other alternate scenario made him squirm even more.

No, the reason the wolf wasn't there could be something else entirely. It was possibly just all in his head that the two of them had formed an inexplicable bond. Maybe the wolf had simply lost interest and moved to another stalking ground.

That was despite the fact that there was only one real park in the city. Did wolves typically skulk around in alleys? 

It was still the thought that got him to finally move through the park rather than wait another hour.

The entire time, he wondered if he should finally come clean to Nate about the other regular meeting he's been having. It only occurred to him in that moment that he had been keeping his roommate in the dark about pretty much every interesting thing that had happened in his life.

~~~

The next day, Cameron and Portia met at the train station before the train arrived to take them to their respective destinations. It wasn't yet another coincidental meeting of fate this time.

This time, it was Portia who decided to make the call. It just occurred to Cameron that there was an easier way to meet with each other than trying their hardest just to steer their respective paths into encounters in-between commutes. And all it took was exchanging phone numbers.

Having by now accepted his sentimental side, Cameron was ready to admit to himself that the exchange was an affirmation of trust. There was no reluctance anymore. He wanted Portia in his life.

"Are you feeling any better?" Cameron asked as they stood at the platform.

"Yes," Portia said with a slight but affirming smile. "Our talk really did help me a lot. I think pouring myself out like that might've tired me out a lot though. That might've been the earliest I ever fell asleep."

"That's good to hear," Cameron said. "Even after a long nightshift, I still have problems getting to sleep some time."

"Maybe it was just the exhaustion, but that might've been the most soundly I've ever slept," Portia mused. "So, what kind of temp work did you get this time?"

"I need to fill in for a front office clerk at a department store," Cameron said. He couldn't help but wryly smile. "You know, I tried to actually apply for several full-time receptionist jobs, but those never ended up going through."

"Maybe you could add this to your resume to get an actual clerk job," Portia suggested.

"I've got so many qualifications on there now and still no takers," Cameron sighed. Suddenly, something clicked in his mind, probably from all of the job talk. "Oh, by the way, this is actually my one day off from the convenience store. Do you...want to spend the evening somewhere?"

He clenched his teeth immediately. There were so many better ways he could've phrased it.

To his surprise, Portia's face lit up at the new information. As in, he wasn't sure he had ever seen her eyes looking so wide. "Really? You mean you'll be around tonight?"

"Uh, yeah, I am?" Cameron was not quite sure how to process Portia's sudden burst of energy, let alone how she seemed to put a particular emphasis on the time of day. "You seem oddly excited about being able to meet with me late."

Portia's smile turned lopsided. "It's one of those things that I can't exactly just tell you. You'll probably just think I'm just making it up if I did."

"You mean like the fact that you live in a motel right now?" Cameron responded with a raised brow.

"Pretty much," she said sheepishly. "It's kind of something I do several nights a week."

What she said next left Cameron silent right on cue as the train finally pulled in. "All I need is a wide enough secluded empty space and some spare clothes nearby."

Cameron's face radiated heat as they boarded. "You do know what those details make it sound like, right?"

"I guess I didn't quite think through how to word it." Portia's cheeks were tinged red as well.

Not helping their respective blushes was how close they had chosen to sit next to each other. Though the position was clearly awkward for the both of them, Cameron sensed that Portia had deliberately chosen her spot, especially as she leaned closer. Amidst the silence on the train, this was the only way she could get a few more words in before one of them inevitably departed for work.

"It's something I've actually thought about for a while now," she whispered. There was something almost desperate about her tone. "I want to be completely honest with you, Cameron. But that can't happen if there are still things I'm keeping from you. Please. Can you trust me?"

After her breakdown the previous day, Cameron couldn't help but fear the implications of Portia's proposal, not so much for his own safety as much as what it might mean for her mental state. However, he couldn't break away from the oddly familiar pleading look in her eyes.

The entire time the gears in his brain turned, he could see Portia looking up at him nervously. It definitely didn't help his thought process that his destination was rapidly coming up, indicated by every jerking stop the train made. Maybe if he was under less pressure, the compromise he had in mind would've been more thought-out.

"If it's really something you need to get off your chest," Cameron whispered back finally, "I really don't want you keeping it bottled up..."

Portia's smile was resigned. "There's a condition in there, isn't it?"

"You have to admit something like this sounds sketchy even on paper," Cameron said. "What would you say to having just one other person nearby? N-Not in the same room but just close by enough in case...something happens."

It seemed that the poor wording was passing back and forth like a baton. He fully expected her to turn down his proposal on the spot. To his surprise, she actually took a moment of silence to consider his own cryptic, implication-filled suggestion.

Then she responded back softly. "Okay."

Just one word was spoken, and he knew she was dead serious.

"Who do you have in mind exactly though?" Portia asked.

~~~

"Well, when you said I should judge her for myself," Nate remarked, "I didn't think you'd actually bring her right to our doorstep at night of all times."

Like a shy grade-schooler, Portia was shuffling nervously behind Cameron, struggling to even make eye contact with his roommate. She seemed to neglect that his body wasn't even tall enough to obscure her properly. He couldn't exactly blame her, however. Even back when they were dating in university, Nate had been an incredibly passive-aggressive critic, likely already seeing the signs that she had just been using him.

This was pretty much Cameron's moment of truth as well. Would Nate see something in her that he had failed to?

"Is it okay if she comes in?" Cameron asked nervously.

"Yeah sure," Nate said, sliding right out of the doorway. "I can't do much in the way of an evaluation from out here."

Portia remained completely silent as she came in after Cameron, only glancing around at the apartment interior very cautiously.

"What do you think?" Nate said with faux-grandiosity, spreading his arms around to present all the room had to offer. "Cozy, isn't it?"

Even Cameron was now squirming a bit. "Hey Nate, could you maybe tone it down a bit?"

"It's actually pretty roomy in here." 

Portia's compliment had come out so quietly that, if wasn't for the awkwardly still air amplifying every sound, the two guys in the room wouldn't have even heard it. Maybe their long stay had made them wise to every flaw with their surroundings, but Cameron and Nate didn't exactly view their abode charitably.

The wooden floor creaked and had long-since lost its luster, but she looked down at it fondly. "You do a good job of cleaning the place."

Cameron eyed Nate, who was looking at Portia with a pressing expression as if begging her to follow up the compliment with some less flattering remark. Of course, Cameron knew firsthand that compared to a motel room, their dinky apartment probably looked like a full-blown house. 

"Do you...want to ask me something?" Portia asked with both confusion and concern.

Unbeknownst to Portia hopefully, Nate's sigh was that of defeat. "Just still not used to seeing you dressed like that."

"Shocking isn't it?" Portia sighed.

"Didn't bother to even dress up nice for the visit," Nate said with a hollow laugh. "I guess what Cameron's said about you is true then."

"That I'm scraping by?" Portia responded, returning the hollow laugh with her own.

"Read my mind," Nate deadpanned. His gaze turned scrutinizing once again. "So you're manning a liquor store now? Which one, exactly? My roommate wasn't exactly specific."

"'Manning' might be overselling what my job is," Portia muttered under her breath before almost formally turning to directly face Cameron's roommate. "But yes, I work at one, Miss Luna's Liquors and Spirits specifically."

Nate raised a brow. "Oh. So there is a name."

Cameron winced. Yes, Nate's passive-aggressive streak was still just as cutting as ever. Portia only stood still in response, though her posture was faltering. Her face just screamed "resigned acceptance" at his roommate's suspicions.

Her voice, however, was firm. "Yes there is. You can look it up if you're still not sure."

There was another bout of silence. Cameron couldn't handle how cold the air felt, and it wasn't because of the apartment's cheap internal heating. "Do you want to interrogate her more, or can I show her around?"

It was kind of unnerving how easily Nate was able to turn the scrutiny on and off. "Go right ahead. It's not like I've got anywhere to be."

Cameron's interjection had done little to quell the awkward silence. It remained hanging over his and Portia's head right up until they entered Cameron's bedroom. Paradoxically, it was easier to breathe in the more confined space even with the door shut behind them.

"It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Portia finally said, breaking the silence.

"Really hate it when he acts like a dad," Cameron grumbled. "So, does this room fit your requirements well enough?"

His guest took a cursory glance around, particularly noting the square of space between his bed and the closet before her attention shifted over to the window. She looked back at him rather timidly. "Could you...turn off the lights?'

Cameron attempted to halt the gears in his brain that screamed at the implications. This was supposed to be important to Portia. "Sure?"

Portia's attention turned back towards the window like she had spotted something outside. "So how thick are the walls in this room?"

Okay, now the whole set-up was really starting to sound suspect...

"Uh, they're insulated a bit, I think? I mean, I remember Nate snoring like a foghorn when we slept in the dorms, but I haven't heard him at all here." And yet, Cameron kept answering honestly.

The lights from the outside city streamed in through the blinds. During most nights, the glow would have provided an almost hypnotic effect, lulling him to sleep like a nightlight.

At that moment, he really felt like he should've shut the blinds. No, scratch that, he probably shouldn't have been in the room.

Portia unbuttoning her jacket and throwing it off to the side didn't warrant much of a reaction. Untying and slipping off her shoes then socks might've earned a questioning glance considering the lack of proper heating in the room and the rough texture of the floor. What set off the alarms was when she pulled off her sweater and began unclipping her skirt.

"Whoa! Hey, hold on!" Cameron exclaimed, feeling his face go red.

"Please don't yell!" Portia hushed, holding a hand out frantically to halt him. "Don't worry, I-I'm not taking off everything. I-It's not what you think!"

Portia was really stretching the extent of Cameron's trust at that moment, but just by hearing the tone of her voice, he knew she was desperate for it at the moment.

And despite the rather embarrassingly dirty areas his mind went to while seeing her undress, nothing of the sort ended up happening. Not much else was stripped off, leaving her standing in front of him in a plain white undershirt and her underwear. With only her form outlined by the outside glow, he couldn't tell if she was blushing or not, but her body language indicated she wasn't exactly comfortable with the arrangement either.

With a shaky breath, she lowered herself to her hands and knees, her eyes on Cameron all the while.

"Please stand back," she said softly. Was that fear in her voice?

Her body stiffened as she took in a deep breath, her attention falling straight ahead like she had fallen into a trance. Seconds passed by. If it wasn't for the ticking of the clock Cameron kept by his bedside, he probably would've assumed several minutes had passed. The entire time, he was forcing his blood not to rush down to a specific spot as he tried his hardest not to focus on the curves of her body or her completely exposed legs.

Just when he was about to ask Portia what exactly he was supposed to be looking for, she suddenly strained out a groan, her already stiff body growing completely rigid as her hands and knees pressed against the floor, hard. The silent air was pierced by a barrage of cracks and snaps as her back was violently forced upwards into an arch, far more than any human back should be able to bend.

Cameron stumbled back; only able to whisper in complete shock, "What the hell?"

Even with her shirt over it, he could see a ridge of rippling vertebrae forming along her back. Portia choked out a gasp. The lights outside highlighted her glistening teeth, revealing her canines that were lengthening and molars chiseling into sharp points. Her head lowered as her breathing rapidly grew ragged, the sides of her wavy hair quivering. With disturbing animation, her tresses parted, pointed earlobes emerging from the openings like they were putty being pulled by invisible hands.

Her arms suddenly twitched as a cascade of popping sounds filled the air like an auditory waterfall. Against his better judgment, Cameron's eyes travelled down her thin limbs, catching her elbow joints seemingly dislocate from their sockets as if they had suddenly given way, yet her upper body remained propped up. When his eyes reached her hands, he couldn't quite call them that anymore. Her dainty fingers had all compressed and were only getting shorter and broader as her palms seemed to slowly mold right over their joints until her digits were steadily reduced to immobile nubs, with her thumbs in particular shriveling into practically nothing. In contrast, her nails were growing, gradually developing a glossy sheen as they thickened and curved downwards, the sharpening tips digging into the wooden floor.

It was on her hands first where Cameron noticed it. With her pale skin, it was easily to spot the rapidly thickening lines of dark brown hair pressing out, strand by strand. All along her arms, similar lines were forming. Then there were her shoulders, where the hairs had sprouted out particularly thick, barely covering the swelling, rippling muscles along her biceps.

Cameron knew he was supposed to call what was sprouting out fur, but he was struggling to even consolidate his own knowledge of reality with this horror movie playing out in front of him.

Portia's somewhat slightly loose undershirt was now beginning to constrict over her body, or rather her previously lithe body appeared to broaden, particularly her chest, which rapidly barreled out, absorbing the outline of her breasts. Then, as though a fast-forward button had been pressed on her metamorphosis, her undershirt was abruptly stretched to its limit, a large tear forming along the back with a loud rip as her shoulder blades were abruptly yanked upwards into two peaks before shifting muscle forced them back down. There was the sound of elastic snapping, likely her bra's clasp reaching its limit as well. The changes cascaded, her previously dislocated arm joints popping back into place, making her arms appear longer.

No, with what were clearly paws propping them up, it was more accurate to call what Portia now had front legs.

As if acknowledging this fact, she suddenly stumbled on her new front limbs as her legs seized and convulsed with a series of loud cracking noises that sounded like planks being snapped in half. Her toes became increasingly visible as they swelled up greatly, two damning snaps forcing them completely forward as her feet stretched out to inhuman lengths while a second set of claws rapidly shot out from where harmless toenails had been.

Portia clenched her fangs as she pressed her hips further up into the air, stretching her body out in such a way that made it look like she was trying to straighten her deformed spine. Rather than straighten however, her spine slithered slowly like a stretching worm, gradually pressing towards her tailbone as her midsection elongated slightly. Her groans began to progressively hoarsen as a twitching furry lump emerged from the base of her spine, only partially obscured by her underwear. With unnerving dexterity, it shifted up past the waistband, clumsily pulling her undergarment down to fully expose itself. As soon as no cloth obstructed it, the stubby appendage jerkily shot out to its full length with a series of clicks, forming a stiff curve before the thickening fur weighed it back down. 

Seeing a human girl suddenly grow a tail. Somehow that seemed like the most unbelievable part of Portia's entire metamorphosis.

But the transformation was far from complete as much as Cameron was desperately wishing it was.

The cracking of her leg bones and joints returned in a full cacophony. Throaty gasps exiting her mouth seemed to distort, progressively sounding closer to canine yelps, as her slender legs grew shorter with a series of violent twitches, knees lifting off of the floor as her calves grew shorter. At a glance, it looked almost as though her legs had snapped in reverse. Despite her wide hips crushing together, the muscles broadening in her thighs caused her draping underwear to snap completely, both halves drifting to the floor. However, there was nothing that was exposed. The fur had begun thickening at a far more rapid rate, covering whatever modesty needed to be preserved.

Cameron recoiled yet again as Portia suddenly let out a distressed cry, one that rapidly grew deeper as her slim neck suddenly stretched out a good few inches and thickened; the gruesome display only just barely hidden by a rapid spread of thickening fur. Her tongue lolled out of her gaping mouth not long afterwards, now looking heavier and flatter. Her ears, now lengthened into full triangles and covered in fur, drooped as the forces of the transformation pulled them up to the top of her head, several small twitches being their only act of defiance. 

As she panted, her body underwent its final adjustments. Beneath the thickening expanse of fur along the rest of her torso, her muscles rippled, which brought to mind an image disturbingly like a field of grain being blown by the wind. Her narrow waist was quickly claimed, as her body literally shook into its new shape. In tandem, clumps of her fur began curling outwards, particularly around her joints and neck, creating a kind of uncanny mimicry of her hair.

Speaking of her hair, her bangs were slowly being absorbed into her scalp, seemingly blending in spots with the fur slowly enveloping her face, indicating the last bit of her humanity left to be consumed. Her actual locks of hair and her fur were all but indistinguishable, leaving her with what looked like particularly wavy tufts of fur flaring from her cheeks.

Portia let out a sharp growl, one that was definitively canine, as her face twisted into a snarl. Her delicate facial features distorted in a wave of grinding and crackling. The ridge of her small pointed nose widened while the tip flattened back and bulged out into a rounder shape. A dark, pebbly texture that shimmered in the lights spread over the flaring nostrils before consuming her rippling nose in its entirety. Her lips darkened as they peeled back, revealing her fangs in full. Small whiskers that gleamed in the light materialized on her cheeks where the fur was thinnest. The bridge of her nose wrinkled unnervingly as her entire skull stretched forward in a series of abrupt jerks, chin sinking in and dome flattening.

With every push, the last of the human girl's face faded, until it was completely swallowed by a long, narrow muzzle.

Portia let out a distressed series of whimpers as the grotesque sounds finally quieted down, stumbling around on all fours as her body shook with its last minute adjustments. With one last snap and accompanying yelp, the agonizingly long transformation finally came to an end.

In the place of a girl was a very familiar-looking wolf dressed in the torn remains of an undershirt. 

Cameron gawked, mind still spinning from the succession of bizarre reveals. "It was you?"

The wolf whined as she slowly nodded her head.

"I've...kind of got a lot of questions," Cameron said hesitantly. "Can you talk like this?"

Portia shook her head.

Cameron groaned as he rubbed his temples, trying to keep the myriad of questions swimming in his head from overwhelming him. "So is it going to take long before you're able to...turn back again?"

It spoke to how frequently Cameron had unknowingly met Portia in her wolf form that he immediately read her canine body language as being uncertain. She finally expelled some air from her muzzle, her head drooping low.

"I can try to, but I usually don't." That was the best he could infer from the gesture.

Cameron glanced back at the still-closed door. Nate wasn't knocking, so Portia's transformation probably had only taken a minute or two at most despite it feeling like an eternity. However, given her hesitation to revert to her human form, a lot more time was about to be added. Then it definitely would've looked suspicious.

"Should I give you some privacy to change back, you know, on account of your clothes being kind of shredded?" Cameron asked, gesturing to the scraps of fabric around her. "If I go back out, you know I'm probably going to have to show Nate what happened so he doesn't get the wrong idea."

Portia whined in response, very clearly not comfortable with the idea of another person, let alone one who barely knew her, finding out about her condition. After a few moments of silence, however, she nodded her head, putting on as brave a face as her wolf features would allow.

~~~

Shockingly, Nate pieced everything together just by looking at the wolf standing in the remains of Portia's undergarments. There wasn't an attempt to make a mental leap in order to discount the existence of the supernatural. There was only a simple blink followed by a bemused "huh".

He now stood outside, his body leaning against the back of the couch while Cameron leaned across from him against the wall just by the door. Cameron chose to silently attempt to read Nate's impassive face for anything judgmental, trying to drown out the muffled snaps, yells and moans coming from the other side of the door.

Finally, Nate spoke up. "So werewolves exist, I guess."

"I'm still trying to process it," Cameron sighed. He gave Nate a wary look. "You're not going to tell anyone else about this, right?"

Nate snorted. "Even if I wanted to, who'd consider me sane if I did?"

"That's fair," Cameron conceded. He stared back at the door. Her cries were steadily becoming lighter, more human-like. "I can't believe she's been struggling with something like this the entire time."

"You want to ask her some things?" Nate asked. "I'm more than happy to wait here."

His tone was removed from all irony for once. Cameron could only look back at him, caught off-guard yet again.

"You're the one she trusts," Nate elaborated with a shrug. "And I have a feeling you kind of are more familiar with talking to her one-on-one."

Nate was Cameron's age, way too young to be considered remotely like a parent, but that implicit approval filled Cameron with nothing but relief. "Thanks man."

There was a sudden knock on the wall. Portia's voice came through the door muffled but audible enough. "I'm finished. You can come in now."

With one last affirming nod to Nate, Cameron opened the door. Portia was sitting curled up by the wall with her face buried in her knees, fully human and dressed back in her previously discarded outfit; though the scraps of her underwear and undershirt on the floor made it clear certain things had to be substituted.

"I borrowed one of your shirts and briefs," Portia murmured apologetically. "Are you okay with that?"

"I have at least one or two spares just in case something happens," Cameron said. He winced slightly at what he just said. Was he really going to start their conversation like this? "Um, so the thing about you being a werewolf. Do you want to talk about it?"

Portia looked up at him, the exhausted lines under her eyes visible. Her curled hair was an even bigger mess than usual. "Okay. Where do you want to start?"

Cameron took a deep breath as he knelt down to look at her at eye level. "So that event where you said you pushed your luck too far; was that guy also...one?"

"He wasn't," Portia said. She let out a heavy sigh. "He was responsible for giving me lycanthropy, but not by biting or scratching me."

Cameron's head tilted to the side curiously. "How's that work?"

"It's kind of a long story." Portia mussed her hair. "I think his name was Orlando? He was huge into collecting antiques that he claimed had magic in them. At the time, I was too stupid to see the obvious red flags with how he behaved around me. I mean, being into the occult should've been the first clue, but there was also the fact that he wasn't just into me. He kept rambling about my existence being a sign from the higher powers. I just saw him as a way into a club for some late-night post-graduation celebration and was too used to wrapping people around my finger then leaving them."

"I guess he didn't take it well when you decided to break up with him?" Cameron asked cautiously.

Portia nodded sadly. "I'd finally pushed my luck too far. I didn't think anything of his ranting when I broke things off. But one night later, just when I was about to head back to my car to head home, he threw me into an alley. H-He had a weird-looking knife with him..."

Cameron's eyes widened as he saw Portia grip the spot below her left shoulder again as she took in an uneasy breath, now finally realizing the reason.

Portia swallowed hard. "Some people passing by managed to hear me scream. They--They didn't exactly do anything, but he got distracted enough by the attention that I managed to kick him off and run away. H-He didn't follow me, but I still remember what he said when he...stabbed me."

She stared ahead, her eyes wide as they seemed to lock onto the memory itself in the distance. "'You are now a beast inside and out.' I didn't really think much about it until I was back at my parents' place, and I experienced my first full moon..."

Cameron stood stock-still at Portia's recollection, feeling a deep revulsion. However, despite the rather callous way she had discarded him and a number of other romantic partners, the disgust wasn't targeted at her.

"He turned you into a werewolf just because you broke up with him?" he muttered in disbelief. "I don't care how many hearts you broke, that's taking things way too far!"

"I-I'll agree it was probably an overreaction..." Portia started sheepishly.

But Cameron wasn't done yet. "And your parents! They just tossed you out because they didn't want to deal with this? It had nothing to do with this guy's reputation? They just didn't want a werewolf for a daughter?"

Portia gave a pregnant pause as her attention focused back on him, seemingly stunned at his response. "Cameron..."

However, a more melancholic expression washed over her as her eyes drifted down. "I don't think I would have learned anything even from getting stabbed. I would've probably just marked the guy down as a type to never hit on again and have gone on the rest of my life with parents that just gave me everything to keep me quiet. The event had to leave something permanent, more permanent than just a scar that could be covered up."

She began twirling a tangled strand of hair in her finger as she began drifting deeper into thought. "Lycanthropy pushed me out into the actual world. I can't really call it a curse anymore despite having to share my body with a wolf."

There were too many complicated emotions for Cameron to even deal with at that moment. Developing lycanthropy had turned the spoiled girl who loved toying with the emotions of others into the girl he met on the train, one far more hardworking, considerate...and admittedly morose. But still, regardless of if her condition actually led to her growing, he still couldn't just ignore the actual transformation he witnessed.

Then the realization hit him. He'd seen the wolf practically every night.

"I can't imagine how you managed to adjust to your body changing like that every night," Cameron shivered. "It looked like you were in agony."

"I'm not forced to change on most nights," Portia corrected. "I just can whenever night falls."

"Then that means you willingly endured all of that practically every night just to see me?" Cameron asked, troubled by the implications. "Why didn't you just meet me as just yourself every night? I mean, I practically just repeated everything I already told you as a wolf to you as a human whenever we talked."

Portia smiled back slightly as though reminiscing nostalgically. "It's weird when I say it out loud, but you actually sounded more comfortable talking with me when I was a wolf. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you could say they were almost like practice for the conversations I had with you as a human."

"Things were really awkward between us to start with," Cameron conceded.

"Our first meeting that night was actually just by complete chance," Portia admitted. "I just happened to want to switch to a different changing spot at the time. After meeting you by chance on the train, I just decided at that moment to maybe just get to know if you were doing alright. And even though you were kind of terrified, you didn't run away and actually talked to me, a random big wolf."

Cameron scratched his head as he scrounged back through his memories. He frowned when he found a particular trend. "Did you just want to hear what I had to say about you?"

Portia laughed nervously. "Maybe that was partially it? But it was broader than that. Remember when we met by your Laundromat for the first time and how I said I didn't actually get to know you much? I guess I just wanted to finally figure out how to fix it, but after what I had done to you back in freshman year..."

She pulled her knees closer to herself like a safety blanket. Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper as her smile faded. "I didn't think you'd be interested in seeing me again. It didn't matter that you were unknowingly repeating the same things again. You were just finally talking to me again."

Cameron cursed under his breath. He felt like he should be angry at the fact that Portia had engaged in an act of deception, but that anger still refused to flare up regardless of how many of his university memories were scrounged up. There wasn't any doubt prodding at him looking at her now. He was disgusted with himself to even consider the thought that she could be faking any of her pain at that moment.

The effect it had on his speech was akin to having a parched throat. The words felt scratchy coming out. "Was it really worth all that physical pain?"

"Changing most of the time isn't actually that painful," Portia explained. "I mean, it never really feels particularly good, but on nights when the moon is out, I can get it over with pretty quickly. I've just never tried changing so soon after the full moon before."

The mention of the full moon jogged Cameron's memory once again. "Does the full moon actually do something different than in the usual werewolf stories? You weren't there that night to meet me or the night after."

Portia shuddered. "When the full moon comes out, I'm forced to transform and completely lose control of myself. I-I have a spot I lock myself in during those nights t-to make sure I don't hurt anyone. And the day after, I wake up exhausted."

She attempted to smile, seemingly to offer a small bit of assurance to Cameron, but it was clear how forced it was. "I-It's been getting easier though. I don't exactly know the rules of how my transformations work, but my full moon ones have gotten much less painful since I started transforming periodically throughout the month."

Cameron shuddered in turn from the second-hand emotional pain from the memory of her breakdown. He couldn't begin to imagine how that emotional pain might've affected the process. "It didn't exactly look like you were having an easy time changing tonight though."

"I didn't," Portia responded with a wince. "I guess I found out along with you what happens when I decide to change without a moon, but I didn't want to break the promise I made to you in the park, and I couldn't do that as long as I kept this one thing hidden from you. I didn't know when the next time would be, so I just picked the one that was earliest."

Honestly, when she had said she still had so much she wanted to share with him, Cameron had no idea any of her secrets would be of this magnitude, nor did he think she'd reveal them so soon all at once. With a beleaguered sigh, he tipped back onto his butt, no longer feeling the strength to even maintain a kneeling position.

"This is a lot to unpack," Cameron groaned.

"I'm sorry," Portia murmured.

"You don't have to apologize for this," Cameron said without hesitation, sitting upright. "Honestly, practically everything you've done so far might as well already be the longest apology in history."

Portia bit her lip as she looked back at him. Their eyes were meeting once again. "You're...not afraid of what I am?"

Cameron shook his head. "Not a bit. Shocked maybe, but honestly you scared me more when I thought you were just a wolf."

Portia's pale cheeks reddened. "I probably could've approached you better the first time."

She looked towards the still closed door. "I think I might have stayed here too long."

Her movements were clumsy as she attempted to get back onto her feet, evidently still not quite adjusted to her return to a bipedal structure. "I'll see you tomorrow, then? Maybe call you this time?"

"Portia, wait."

There was still one last thing that needed to be asked. While they were talking, there was another thought developing further in the back of his mind. It took the entire conversation for him to slowly build up the courage to ask.

Portia halted, looking back at Cameron curiously. Her face was now human, but her expression was an uncanny match for the wolf's own, he realized.

There was no point in creating another awkward scene. He was just going to say it. "O-Our landlord recently raised our rent suddenly, so we've been looking for a third roommate to split it with. W-Would you be willing to...move in?"

Portia opened her mouth slightly before shutting it, at a loss for words.

"W-With how we're splitting it," Cameron hastily added, "it'll probably be cheaper than the price of the motel you're staying at. You'd also be paying per month rather than per night. W-What do you think?"

The dreaded silence returned as Portia eyed the floor. Cameron braced himself for the inevitable disappointment, especially with how sloppy that pitch was.

"It'll take some time to think everything over..."

Cameron's eyes had been open the entire time, but it felt like they had been tightly shut in horrible anticipation. This would be the point where said closed eyes slowly opened as the calm returned.

Slowly, the exhaustion on Portia's face faded away as she allowed a grin to grace her face once more, one far wider than any other since their reunion. "But I'd love to."

Okay, it was definitely not a calm. Cameron's heart was beating like a jackhammer. The offer, after all, was basically a pragmatic angle to asking her to live with him, not that he had it in him at the moment to admit it.

Of course, externally, he tried to maintain his composure as he held out a hand. "W-Welcome then."

The hand was just supposed to just help the two of them stand. Their fingers ended up weaving together far more than they should have. It definitely wasn't a handshake they had gone for. Their arms were far too still for that. And their hands ended up clasped together for far too long after they had gotten back onto their feet.

What was that intense warmth radiating out of his chest? Had he ever held a gaze with someone else for so long?

Portia looked like she was glowing at that moment, her skin the brightest hue it had ever been. She glanced down at their held hands, likely wondering if they should part at any point.

"But I thought your landlord didn't allow pets that shed," she said softly.

"You're so much more than that," Cameron said back. "And I don't think an animal would like to hear me go on and on about my life like you do."

Portia laughed. Not an amused giggle or chuckle like she had vocalized numerous times in the past. It was far louder, more undignified, and above all else, absolutely cathartic.

At that moment, Cameron realized the two of them would be locked together for the rest of their lives. Was it overly optimistic to hope for eternal happiness for the both of them? Maybe.

But he was willing to dream. 

**Author's Note:**

> The art obviously was not done by me. All credit goes to kaoming.


End file.
